Once upon a time ToS: The three little piggies
by falcon crest
Summary: One upon a time there lived three little kids. Their names were Lloyd, Genis and Colette. They needed somewhere to live. So each of them decided to make a small house. Lloyd, the first little kiddy made a house in titanium alloy and was satisfied.


**The three little kids**

* * *

One upon a time there lived three little kids. Their names were Lloyd, Genis and Colette. They needed somewhere to live. So each of them decided to make a small house. Lloyd, the first little kiddy made a house in titanium alloy and was satisfied. The second little kiddy, Genis, who was smarter, made a common house but surrounded it with so many defensive spell s that you could literally see the mana flow. And the third little kiddy, Colette, who was a complete klutz took even more time to make hers. As a matter of fact, it was still not made!

* * *

FC: Colette! What's the matter? Why is your cottage still only at its foundations?

Colette: Because each time I trip it brakes and when I sleep, I sometimes accidently cast judgment.

FC: Is that really true?

Genis and Lloyd: Yeah, it is

FC: Well then guys, help her, we need the story to go on.

* * *

And so the three cottages were finished. The first one was titanium and indestructible, the second one was so resistant it barely was in this dimension anymore and the third one was… Weird? Yeah, that's the best term. Weird.

* * *

FC: What the hell did you guys do?

Lloyd: Well, we created a soft construction to avoid any walls braking down and a strong outer wall to protect against any problems, plus we added a bit of aerodynamics to make it look like more than a heap of metal

FC: oookay…

Genis: And we put defensive barriers that shifted the continuum and made a foggish illusion that makes it seem like its only half there.

FC: Right. You guys _do_ know I didn't understand a word of what you just said, right?

Colette: I'm sorry for the trouble

* * *

So when the houses were built a mean angel arrived. "You have humiliated me countless times, so I'll kill you!" said the very feminine angel Yggdrasil. All three little kiddies ran in their respective homes. But Yggdrasil wasn't about to give up. So he went in front of Lloyd's house. "Open the door" he ordered. Lloyd answered "I might not be as smart as Genis, but I'm not _that_ stupid either" Yggdrasil didn't like being disobeyed. "Then, I'll cast, and I'll blast, and I'll blow your house away" Lloyd's answer was "Try me!"

Yggdrasil concentrated mana in his hands "Earthquake!" but nothing happened, the foundations were too deep. He concentrated mana in his hands again. "Whirlwind" but still nothing happened. The house was too heavy. He concentrated even more mana. "Indignation!" he yelled. But it was useless, titanium doesn't conduct electricity. He mumbled something "Judgment!'" he yelled and the house was blown in tiny fragments.

Lloyd ran and went into Genis' house. "Open the door!" Yggdrasil ordered again. This time he was ignored. "Then I'll cast and I'll blast and I'll blow your house away!" he heard a snigger. "Earthquake" he screamed. The whole ground seemed to shatter, except where the magical cottage was. He tried again "Whirlwind!" but the inhabitants of the cottage barely felt a breeze. "Indignation!" he screamed. But the bolt was sent right back to him. "Hey, Genis, I told you he wouldn't dodge it, now you owe me 500 gald." This was too much of a humiliation. He concentrated on the most powerful judgment he could cast and shattered all the defensive spells.

Lloyd and Genis ran to Colette's house. "Open the door!" Yggdrasil hoped against hope. This was answered by two screams. "No Colette, don't open the door." Lloyd and Genis had said simultaneously. "Then I'll cast and I'll blast, and I'll blow your house away!" he grumbled. And so, once again, he casted "earthquake" but it was pointless, the ground didn't shake, the walls shaked, the sky shaked, but the ground didn't. "Whirlwind" he cast again. But the house was protected by a split space magical resistance combined with exsphere ore to conduct the spells better, so it used another story to defend itself and it flew up and landed on his head. "We're not in Kansas anymore" said Lloyd. And Yggdrasil casted "Indignation" again. But this time it landed on the cottage, got up and walked away. He muttered something and cast judgment, but to no avail. He tried again, but it only made the cottage shine. He tried a couple more times and then noticed he had no more mana left.

"I found the weakness of the cottage" he said "it's the energy core, its unprotected, I just need to go through the air conduct and through the core and I'll kill every last one of you!" But Colette was… if not smart, at least lucky, since she turned the core on and when Yggdrasil came in through the core he got completely and utterly disintegrated.

The End

* * *

FC: Staff meeting!

Yggdrasil: You gave me the bad role again.

FC: Aren't you used to it? NEXT-

Genis: What's the moral of the story?

FC: A moral?

Lloyd: Well, yes, the original story had a moral

FC: Yeah, I know but-

Colette: Yes, it's 'even though some things are harder and take longer to do, it's always better because they are sturdier.'

FC: Ok, fine, whatever. Here's the moral of this story: 'Always make a judgment proof cottage' happy?

Everyone: …

FC: Well it's _my_ fic, _I_ choose the moral! And lets end the staff meeting now.


End file.
